#the only thing i need to figure out
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Vanitas sits cross-legged on his bed, holding Terra’s old practice Keyblade and contemplating the exam’s results. You failed to keep the darkness inside of you in-check. Terra, hesitantly, as if despite himself, had looked at Vanitas, when their master said that.
Vanitas rubs his gloved hand over his mouth, relishing in the scratchy feeling of leather against his soft skin. His thumb brushes the wood grain of the Keyblade, idly.
Vanitas ponders the ways of the light and the dark. Terra and Vanitas have always been close; and what is Vanitas, if not ineffably tainted by the dark?
He chokes on the thought, attempting to swallow it and the emotions it conjures. He cannot allow himself to make an Unversed. Vanitas is being foolish; foolhardy, as his Master would say. He has to keep better control of his wandering thoughts; a focused mind leads to a focused heart, and only with focus can Vanitas overcome the darkness inside of him.
And then there’s a wooden knock on his doorway. Expecting Aqua, or maybe the Master, Vanitas tosses the practice Keyblade onto his bedspread with more force than it probably requires, raising his head somewhat miserably, to look at—
Vanitas goes very, very still.
A boy stands in the open doorway, standing prim and tall. He’s dressed in… some kind of armor, Vanitas decides. It doesn’t look like metal, but it doesn’t look like cloth either. Not quite flesh, though something about it feels… organic. Bright, gleaming white, it hugs the boy’s torso, covering him from the tips of his fingers to the spiked, jagged helmet that covers his face.
He’s standing with one hand behind his back, and he raises the other in a jaunty wave. He bobs excitedly in place, leaning his weight on his heels.
It sort of reminds Vanitas of when he… no, that can’t be right. But there’s something about this boy, something that has him freezing still like a rabbit standing before a predator. An Unversed tugs itself from his chest, bubbling up from the pooling darkness at Vanitas’ feet.
A Hareraiser rises from the ground, formless purple turning into a rabbit, red eyes crying, holding onto its own ears. Vanitas feels his fear ebb, halfway to being calm. Swallowing the immediate rush of guilt and regret that tastes like bile, he fixes his gaze on the stranger.
He stands from his bed, falling into a combat position. The masked boy pays this no mind, though. Instead, he bends a little at the waist and coos. “Oh my,” he gasps, reaching out for the Unversed. “Aren’t you just the cutest little thing!” It flinches away from his outstretched fingers, skittering across the wooden floor. It hides behind Vanitas’ shins, making tiny noises.
“Who are you?” Vanitas snaps, making his voice as authoritative as he doesn’t feel.
The mask tilts, until it's faceless visage is looking at Vanitas, and not the Hareraiser. “So that’s seriously your Negativity? That’s so cool,” he sighs, forlorn and breathless, like he’s genuinely jealous of Vanitas’ Unversed. “Oh, sorry!” He chirps, straightening up suddenly. “Where’re my manners?” He hooks his hands underneath his helmet and pulls it off, revealing—
—something about his face is making Vanitas’ head spin. Spin and spin, like someone’s attached a rope to his heart and is tugging on it, incessantly. Something is making Vanitas’ chest feel hot and his fingers twitch. Viciously, he pushes it down. Shoves it back down and stomps on it, pulling on his memories of his Master’s advice for strength.
“You have to be in control, Vanitas,” Master Eraqus had said, three years ago now, eyes stony with seriousness. “You can never, ever let your heart run wild.”
It helps, a little. It makes him feel more grounded, present in his body. He is the master of his emotions, and one day, he will be free of his darkness. He just has to remember that.
Unbeknownst to Vanitas’ disparate emotions, the boy beams wide. His cheeks are ruddy with a youthful vigor that Vanitas lacks, and his green eyes sparkle like gems. There’s something bright, about his eyes, about his teeth. Like they’re backlit by the setting sun, just enough to make them gleam.
Blonde hair bounces as he sticks his hand out to shake. “I’m Ventus!”
He doesn’t want to touch this boy; something is telling him not to touch him. Something in the heart-pounding fear rattling his chest. Except for— something in him wants nothing more than to touch him. To feel— skin unlike Vanitas’ own. Unperturbed, Ventus drops his hand, grinning wide.
“I can’t believe myself! My master would have my head for being so rude!” He laughs, cheerful and bubbly, shaking his head. He thumps the heel of his hand to his forehead, expression sheepish. “That’s no way to introduce myself, is it? Especially not to someone who could become a friend.”
He drops his hand, and something about his entire cadence changes. His expression sharpens, though it doesn’t change; his smile goes from sheepish to wicked between one blink and the next. “Because we are going to become friends, aren’t we…” there’s something leading in his tone, halfway sweet and halfway… something else. “…Vanitas?”
Vanitas’ fingers go cold, and before he can swallow the feeling, another Hareraiser is rising from an inky puddle at his feet. Then two more, rising into existence as if formed from the shuddering in his chest, the pounding of his heartbeat.
“How do you know that?” Vanitas asks, sharply. Another Hareraiser, and only then does the fear fade. “Tell me how you know my name.”
Ventus’ eyebrows climb to his hairline, a smile frozen to his face. “I know a lot,” he says, shrugging like this is… like this is nothing, a casual discussion, a joke. He smiles like Vanitas is an idiot, fluttering a hand. “‘Cause, the thing is… I’m not from here.”
Vanitas stares at him, blankly.
Grinning, Ventus extends a finger towards Vanitas’ window. Not just his window; at the sky. The stars. Other worlds. He’s from… he’s from away. He’s from outside.
Vanitas wasn’t born on the Land of Departure. Nobody is; the Master welcomes those with the aptitude to wield a Keyblade, or he gifts them with the aptitude. Aqua and Terra don’t ever talk much about their life before coming here, but he knows there’s nowhere for them to return to. Why would there be? Their home is here.
Except, Vanitas wasn’t born here. His memory is— infamously— spotty, but he remembers… not a desert so much as just dirt, dirt devoid of life. Scraping against his soft, bare palms; hard dusty rock that spat clouds that made him choke. Flashes of sheer brown cliffaces, and the taste of his own blood.
“You’re from outside…” Vanitas says.
Ventus laughs like that’s just so funny, shoulders shaking and chest shuddering. He laughs like nobody Vanitas has ever met, like his laughter buoys him, elevates him, makes him better. And something burns in Vanitas— something between this boy’s face, and his laugh, and his name.
Wait.
The only other Keyblade Master— the man Master Eraqus had called his good friend— who’d come to oversee Aqua and Terra’s exam… he was from outside, too. This boy had joked about a master, maybe even a Master.
Vanitas says, “Master Eraqus said Master Xehanort didn’t have an apprentice.”
Ventus’ expression snaps to Vanitas, and for the first time, something truly ugly flashes across his face. And then it’s smoothed out, turned into something gentle and soft and a little mocking. “Well… if you spend all your time locked up here,” he shrugs a shoulder, giving a gentle smile. “What’dyou know?”
Vanitas doesn’t look down to see whatever Unversed that statement spawns; he just stands there, almost stutters out of his combat stance, and then forces himself to summon his Keyblade. Void Gear is heavy in his hand, and he holds it in front of himself defensively.
Ventus’ eyes fall onto the Keyblade, and then flick back to Vanitas’ face. “Funny,” he says, a wry tilt to his mouth. “Can I give you some advice? Since we’re friends?”
“Since when have we been friends?” Vanitas snaps.
Ventus laughs again. “Since always, silly,” he mimes wiping a tear from his eye. “But, hey. Since you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you anyway! Call it a sign of good faith.” He beams, clasping his hands in front of himself. “You might…” He taps a hand to his cheek, looking up at nothing, theatrical, “…want to check on Terra.”
“What?” Whatever Vanitas was expecting, it wasn’t that.
“I don’t think he’s gonna be feeling like himself,” Ventus says, the sides of his smile curled up sharp. “Not for much longer, anyway.”
Vanitas’ mind is racing, even as more Unversed rise from his feet. The Master will be so disappointed in him… but he can’t think about that. Instead, he thinks about Ventus. About his words, and his mocking smile, and the fact that he knows Vanitas’ name.
“What’s gonna happen to Terra?” Vanitas’ voice is foreign to his ears, a cruel scrape against the otherwise quiet. “What are you going to do to Terra?”
He feels the Unversed looming around the dark corners of the room.
“Me?” Ventus says, pointing to himself. “Nothing.”
“What is your master going to do, then?”
His eyes glow. He seems to gleam. His face… looking at it, Vanitas feels hot. Like claws raking against his heart, rending open his chest from the inside out. Looking at his face makes him feel like Vanitas is oozing something.
“Who are you?”
“Who cares?" He says, easy as breathing. "Anyway, my master'll be expecting me back. Nice meeting you!” Ventus waves a hand, wiggling his fingers. And then there’s a pop, so loud Vanitas’ ears hurt. A bright, white light flashes, like lightning crashing against the cold ground. Vanitas flinches away, flinging Void Gear in front of his chest protectively.
When he blinks, Ventus is gone. Vanitas is alone.
Well, Vanitas and a horde of Unversed. He rubs at his nose, blowing out a frustrated breath. Another Unversed forms as he does; a Blue Sea Salt hovers in the air next to his head, and it gently headbutts him.
Vanitas shoves it away, still trying to calm the racing of his heart. A Bruiser noses underneath Vanitas’ arm, and he allows himself to lean against it, lightheaded. He doesn’t know what’s going on— not yet.
But he needs to find out. He needs to warn the Master, about this boy, and—
Maybe… Maybe he better check on Terra, first. That’s all. It’ll all make sense. Vanitas will make it make sense. With his bare hands and determination clutched in both fists, he’ll make it make sense.
And if he locks the Unversed in his bedroom, trapping them inside… well, nobody needs to know. He has to take precautions. He has to hide the evidence. He has to figure this out.
He needs to focus.
#my writing*#kingdom hearts#Yeah man i dont know#ventus#kh vanitas#ive thought a lot about the mechanics of this. the basic idea is that when xehanort split ven and van . van was the one catatonic#and ven was conscious#so nortie boy picked the apprentice that was obviously more immediately useful#and dumped van on eraqus' doorstep with a sob story about how his 'apprentice' almost fell to darkness and#can you help him heal and bring light back into his heart#fully expecting it to not work#plus i feel like strategy wise#utilizing the light against the light is exactly the type of weird twisted logic nortie boy would enjoy#though Dont get me wrong#he has plans for vanitas too#the only thing i need to figure out#Is the unversed#like . during the campaign. obviously ven cant make any#anyway idk. call this a proof of concept more than anything else
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*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*
Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?
Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.
Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?
Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-
Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?
Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.
Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?
Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-
Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…
Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.
Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!
Spider-Man:….
Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.
Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?
Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!
Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?
Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-
Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!
#they now think he’s some homeless orphan fighting crime cause it’s the only thing he has#my fav hc are the villains earlier in spideys career are completely against harming kids#so to figure out the hero of New York was like a child they plan to torture before unmasking and killing is well#not great on their minds and little sense of morality#I wanted to write a fic about this but ao3 is dead so take this flash dialogue fic instead#I need to sleep for work#doc ock#sinister six#doctor octopus#otto octavius#the sandman#flint marko#the rhino#Alexei Sytsevich#the shocker#herman schultz#electro#maxwell dillon#the vulture#adrian toomes#peter parker#spider-man#spiderman
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.
In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.
In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.
Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.
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[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.
1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]
#urchin art#autism#autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic artist#autistic community#listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult#figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary#but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe#(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point)#the point is ask yourself#are you getting MORE xyz?#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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earlier this year I started writing a comic about the siege perilous-grail quest situation after finally finishing the didot perceval, and it started circling around kay and perceval. kay as gatekeeper, taboo anxiety vs chivalry, and perceval not doing things "correctly," arthur's enduring affection for kay. that general area. also the horror of the grail quest itself.
this is comic is part of that narrative arc, so with THAT in mind: this is an abridged scene of a longer arc revolving around kay associating camelot with a cage, perceval's associations with jewelry and knighthood and the color red, and arthur's relationship with kay.
[some other scene context: perceval has injured his hand and can't participate in the tournaments, so he's craving some kind of fight. kay is disinterested in replying to this challenge, but he's not above reminding perceval of their first meeting. it's just mean enough in a weird-intimate kind of way that perceval's like, ok so we're doing the antagonistic version of court romance rituals. he picks up hunting because kay can't leave the castle.]
on the subtext of jewelry:
Clothes Make the Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, M.D. Amey
on the topic of kay, gatekeeping, and taboo anxiety:
Cei and the Arthurian Legend, Linda Gowans
the whole Red Knight/Perceval Shows Up In A Dead Man's Suit Of Armor transgression-situation (which kay references through red jewelry) mentioned is told in both de Troye's and Wolfram's Perceval narratives :)
anyway! to close out all this out: the transgressions. incredible! what is camelot but a bunch of transgressions stacked on top of each other tbh.
#i wanted to do some kind of siege perilous-grail quest horror comic after watching bresson's lancelot and i think#after several years. i figured out what kind of story i want it to be#like it no longer feels abstract i can see the story core and now i have to hack away at the clay to see if i can make a figure out of it#HEUGH. okay. i'm gonna wrap this up here. ive been Very Under The Weather lately in some kind of way#trying to get back in the swing of things. but augh. eugh. they need to invent a kind of body that doesnt fall to pieces#the minute it gets slightly less sun than usual like vitamin supplements only go so far. awful flesh prison experience#komiks tag#long post#knights knights knights!
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anyway i'm going to buck the trend here and say i specifically love these guys way more because of their teeny little arms and feet. ten out of ten design choice, very dainty and endearing
#flight rising#i also think it goes a long way towards de-cluttering their silhouette#which is sorely needed! these things have a lot of doodads!#i think i like all the design elements a lot. only thing i'm not sold on is the horn#still figuring out how to make it work with everything else they've got going on#anyway i really don't see the people complaining these don't feel like light dragons#they're long they're dainty they're vaguely insectoid#they have big horns and lots of frills. their antennae are shaped like filigree!#i think it's just that the art kinda undersells all these features because of how messy it is#okay that's probably the right mix of sugar and salt in the tags. aaand post#my sketches
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how many former patients do you think think back to that weird, crude, insane doctor that finally got them the right diagnosis after being told "nothing's wrong" or "i don't know" and think of him fondly? people who were put under house's bizarre care and come out deciding he's good and kind even if his methods are strange. i think more than one might imagine
#house md#gregory house#he pisses patients off he says terrible things sometimes#but he doesn't give up trying to figure out what's wrong with you#and if you're a patient even if someone tells you 'he only does it bc he likes the puzzle'..... so?#chances are you won't care because now you can get treatment. you can get better. that was all you wanted#he doesn't have to be a good person to be a good doctor. all i needed is a good doctor
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tf:one came out and made tf popular again so im outing myself as a ss fan
#starscream#transformers#wanted to put her in the givenchy shark lock boots. will figure out an outfit for that later. she's like a barbie doll to me#maccadam#artist on tumblr#fanart#humanformers#i was going to doodle skyfire too bc i have a design for her in my head but im ill now and i couldn't be bothered </3#i redesign her every few years or so on my old tf account and when i revisit im always horrified again so#shoutout to bayverse for giving starscream tattoos only good thing he ever did#need to learn to draw mecha
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Good touch
Pose was base on this image down below. Made by @mellon-soup
#these two make me fucking insane#but i cant for the life of me be able to draw isa#his hands are the only thing im able to do#im going to draw them more i promise#i need to figure out isa#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isafrin#isat fanart
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reblog for a bigger sample size of former angry, creative, and/or highly dramatic children
#len asks#strangling tw#choking tw#drowning tw#<- ik followers and moots need those tagged but lmk if there's any more you want me to add#polls#personally i mostly hung my toys up. not in like a morbid way but i thought it was fun to swing them from trees#DEF threw them off structures in a morbid way. and melted their faces off in a morbid way. and gave them swirlies in a morbid way#i usually only did that to free mcdonalds toys and i don't think i ever did any of this to my expensive toys but i did like a bit of#violence here and there. it was an interesting outlet for sure. i basically always did it with a friend as well. bonding <3#OH and we put out sparklers on an action figure once before tying blackcats to him and throwing him off a bridge. fun times!#oh and the freezer. i think that's it tho and i honestly only did most of these things once bc the novelty wore off#gonna periodically rb this for a bigger sample size. i will be HIGHLY disappointed in y'all if 'none' sweeps
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Minthara reading everyone to filth upon recruitment is funny, but it also highlights just how paranoid she is. Realistically, it probably takes her a few days to figure everyone out rather than the instant she is recruited. When talking about all the companions, a common theme in all her responses relates to their combat capabilities and survivability, and points out their strengths and their weaknesses. She's not throwing shade or stirring the tea. Minthara is conducting a threat assessment. Minthara having very realistic and accurate readings of everyone is a trauma response, because she needs to know who they are and very quickly.
She is trying to figure out who is the most likely to kill her and why they would kill her. But also how they would go about it and is weighing her odds against them. She has to know their weaknesses in case she needs to exploit them, and she has to know their strengths so she can defend against them. And Minthara doesn't just consider their combat capabilities, but their psyche as well, using it as a factor to determine the likelihood of them ever coming after her specifically and how she can disarm them psychologically if need be. But you know who she doesn't provide her assessment for? You.
You are a conundrum. The moment you saved her, she has been curious of you, but wary. Although grateful you saved her, she doesn't understand why you saved her when she believes you had far more reason to either kill her or leave her behind. She wants to trust you, but her trust has always gotten her stabbed. She wants to have faith that her savior won't turn against her, but she has no reason to believe you won't. She spends the entirety of Act 2, watching you, analyzing you, trying to figure you out because she doesn't know what to do with you. She asks you some questions because she is still trying to figure out what motivates you. "Why come to Moonrise? Why raid the grove? Why knock me out?" In two of these questions, she is determining how likely you are to harbor any violent intent. And one of these questions is born of your history of bringing her harm. (Oh the irony of Minthara trusting you less if you knocked her out)
You're a potential enemy whose weakness she doesn't want to exploit, a potential enemy she doesn't want to have to defend herself against. And all this time she spends watching you, she finds things about you that she likes. Really likes. And while conducting her assessment of you, she falls in love with you, and it terrifies her because she still does not know if she is safe with you. So she asks you to share your mind and just tell her if you're safe and can be trusted. She doesn't want to guess anymore, and she doesn't want to come to a potential conclusion she doesn't like. She doesn't want to do the analysis, she doesn't want to be paranoid, she wants to trust you and feel safe with you. She needs to know that you are a safe person for her to love.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#i know a lot of this is headcanon and i base a lot of it on her being unresponsive in act 2#i like to think it is because she is still trying to figure you out more than anything#and she becomes pretty vocal in act 3 because she has figured you out and knows what you are about#and the only time she really talks about you is if you are durge#but she is not the one who starts that conversation - it is you#even in that conversation - the first thing she asks is why you're telling her#and you can tell her that you trust her - but she immediately places even more distance between you and her#and she expresses doubts on if she can trust you because you just admitted to the urges#and she knows better than the rest that you are serious and she has to consider you a threat even though she doesnt want to#and in the scene where durge gets tied up - she doesn't even ask you what happened nor gives you a chance to speak#she immediately threatens you - telling you that if you ever think of harming her - she'll gut you. End of conversation#because you needing to be tied up so that you don't murder a companion is all the assessment of you she needs
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you can't punch the bug in your brain so you'll have to settle with shooting through him as he attempts to well meaning-ly haunt your ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#zib iz#iz zib#zadr#he's feeling some things and behaving irrationally. hanging around the skool and his old home and being a soggy angry pissbaby.#trying to figure out how i want my zib to look for these since i wanna do more#invader zim#i missed#zadrday#my bad#“there's only one bed” boring. “there's only one body” much better. see the light of bodysharing ships. im compelling you. i need more.#so little media w/ these relationships exist i am going to wilt and wither away
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Truly the worst Vaugardian plays are the ones where nothing happens, as the characters spend the whole 2 hours sitting about as they talk at each other, all while the audience hasn't the slightest doubt they can be nowhere but hell.
But while hell is definitely other people...in your experience, a hell you're suck in alone, left the only wise one surrounded by fools, is not a better hell. Not better at all.
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Loop's wish has different wording, and this makes a few things a little different. Mostly it means the Researcher of the group is now looping, while Stardust remains blissfully ignorant. This is certainly the main difference noticed by Loop, who looks at the evidence before then before assuming they're to play stagehand to the Researcher solving of the mystery in record time.
But roles are tricky. Very nearly tricky as wishes.
Sponsor, stagehand, lead actor, audience, critic, fool, traveler, ex-scissor wizard turned star - how absurd for a human to contort themselves to fit a single 'role'! How cruel to for a person to find that no role left they can Change themselves enough to fit!
Ah, but there's no time to wallowing, not when you've one more wish to make - one more desperate GRAB at hope for the play ending, now the greatest ever cosmic joke has been replaced by a smarter actor then you could become even after a million loops.
One, two, THREE - breath in…and out, take a bow to the audience and ready yourself.
The show has once again begun ~ !
#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#my art#like a wheel ever turning au#finally got a cover for the INTRO of this au!#yaaaay!#couldn't figure out the vibes of this one#but it finally clicked for me and now it's done!#that a reading of isat through the lens of the theatre of the absurd is both possible and VERY interesting for the themes#has brought me SO much joy#there is no meaning in the meaningless#and yet without meaning what's left to do but go insane?#people are hell and the only thing worth living for#there is a contraction to every answer and yet without searching regardless stagnation is the only result#...and in the end#no matter the big words#the sheer complexity of the universe#and emptiness of all when broken down into it's smallest atoms#there are still reasons to want to live found in the connections formed with others about us#ha - anyway i should stop failing to write a essay about existentialism and isat in the tags#instead i'll say good luck Loop!#the Universe knows you'll need it <<<333
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Izutsumi character study
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies.#What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features)#I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status.#'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point!#Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope.#Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life.#She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'.#Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING)#Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her.#She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want.#And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy.#Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow.#Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
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🧧新年快乐🧧!
!!!Qiuniu and Guilin!!!
MY DAY ISNT OVER SO ITS STILL LNY AND NOW IM POSTING IT YAY - today was just coloring it, drawing was done over the weekend for the most part :’)
Other art obligations required attention first~ and also y’know, my 8-4/9-5 😔 (just writing my silly little code that I don’t actually know how to write on my own or test on my own yet because I don’t know how all of our microservices work …yet… I swear I’m learning, it just takes me awhile to process and learn)
oH also the last panel!!!! Guilin is short compared to Qiuniu. He has to stand on a chair to be tall enough to reach like that hahahaha. Qiuniu is 7ft. Guilin is 5’6ft.
But anyways, Happy Lunar New Years Everyone~
새해 복 많이 받으십시오~
新年快乐~
#I went ALL out on the last panel because it’s so soft and look at my baby dragon#again he’s 4k years old he’s been around a lonnnng time#bare with me on the subtle changes to Qiuniu every time I draw him 😭 I’m still figuring him out#like why did I make his face shape different in the last panel and only realize AFTER I finished it??? idk 😭#yes Guilin and Qiuniu know each other of course haha#I figured they fit well into each other’s worlds so here we are#I’m still trying to figure out his whole outfit thing Idek I never sketched a character sheet for him which I probably should’ve done#mochiiochioc#mochiissnzart#snz#snz art#sneeze#mochii guilin#mochii qiuniu#I need to practice clothing and anatomy more#especially the male face and body still even after all these years…#drawing women is no problem#drawing men???? huh????#mochiisart
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